Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
