I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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