I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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