I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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