Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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