I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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