No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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