oh god the rape fog is back!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
