Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
