the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Randomize
