You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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