I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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