you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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