I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
