Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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