pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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