the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
