so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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