her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
