Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize