Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
