Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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