I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize