its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
