ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
