we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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