I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
