Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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