dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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