hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
