Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
