Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
