How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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