Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
