I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
