whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
