Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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