i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
