how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
