Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
3pm strippers are depressing
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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