Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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