how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
ttyl tear gas
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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