They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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