You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
