ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
