I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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