Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
