Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Its about making memories worth repressing
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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