My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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