it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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