my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
