So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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