This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
