There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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