you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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