I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
