She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
