Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
