fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
