I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
