Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
