white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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