I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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