Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
