so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
