Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
