My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
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