i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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