im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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